On the 5th day of juice fast my stomach takes to the stage

Saturday was Day 5 of my green juice fast. I woke up to a very grumbly sound and realized that it was coming from inside me. Disturbed, I jumped out of bed to juice some carrots, kale and cucumber and drank it speedily. Rather than quieting the growl, the juice only seemed to feed the beast. It had somehow gotten louder, filling the entire kitchen. All day the grumbling, growling, roaring followed me around the house while I did my chores and even accompanied me on my errands.

Saturday evening, my 13 year old son and I had tickets to see an off-Broadway play entitled "In the Heat of the Night." I hoped that my loud digestive system would not disturb the two people unfortunately seated on either side of me. When we arrived at 59E59, we discovered that the theatre was an intimate black box. All the action took place in the squared off area, and we audience sat surrounding the square. My seat was in the first of the two rows on the corner from which actors passed to enter the stage. Before the show, we were informed to silence cell phones, unwrap candies, and note that if we needed to leave the theatre for any reason, we would not be allowed re-entry. It was a quiet show, one without much music, sound effects or any props, in a small, enclosed space. My grumbling continued. I glanced around, looking to see whether there was a reaction from the man sitting next to me. So far, he amazingly managed not to notice. As the show progressed, the tension mounted. The murder mystery with racist
At a particularly intense moment, a police officer took down to his knees a murder suspect and cuffed him at my feet. Then the two actors froze in that pose as other actors across the stage had dialogue. "Glurg, grrrr, roarrrrr," filled my ears. Head one foot from me, at lap level, the actor had to try hard not to react to the incredibly strange noises emitting from my gut. But I could see him looking quizzically at me. I shrugged and tilted my head, aimed at the quiet man to my right, as if it were HIS ridiculously loud innards creating havoc.

Fortunately, I was not removed from my seat. The show was outstanding. I highly recommend it. See it on a full stomach, it will save you embarrassment.